At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
