I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
