hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
