your parents love me but you hate me
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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