How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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