he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
