It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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