Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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