In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
