Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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