some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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