Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
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I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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