I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
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I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ttyl tear gas
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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