Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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