dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
