I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
