my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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