pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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