But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
