so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
