You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dignity is for republicans.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
