I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
