Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The beer is more important than you right now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
