After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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