how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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