he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
