Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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