i wish starbucks made bloody marys
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
