When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
