Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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