I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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