....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
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he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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