My nipple is on Facebook.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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