im six kinds of drunk right now
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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