Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I touched a dick in church today
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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