Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
