At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I need a beard to bite.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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