Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
