im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
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there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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