yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
