she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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