Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.

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  (518): What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store. http://tfl.nu/xk1d
  Replies (2) Good night (2384) Bad night (639)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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  (503): It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/grez
  Replies (32) Good night (682) Bad night (3386)
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  (818): View more from California

  All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on

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  (818): All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on http://tfl.nu/912s
  Replies (10) Good night (3457) Bad night (1461)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't

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  (403): If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't http://tfl.nu/df5x
  Replies (20) Good night (3239) Bad night (2586)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.

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  (954): We're sending your burrito through the mail slot. http://tfl.nu/pddr
  Replies (4) Good night (3894) Bad night (809)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me

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  (631): I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me http://tfl.nu/684j
  Replies (9) Good night (2396) Bad night (948)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math

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  (520): She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math http://tfl.nu/3rkm
  Replies (9) Good night (2470) Bad night (1176)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.

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  (631): Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight. http://tfl.nu/prjm
  Replies (5) Good night (2196) Bad night (953)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

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  (610): he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high http://tfl.nu/1b4w
  Replies (2) Good night (1626) Bad night (861)
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  (27): View more from South Africa

  You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.

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  (27): You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in. http://tfl.nu/09ev
  Replies (5) Good night (762) Bad night (264)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.

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  (720): Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun. http://tfl.nu/f4wi
  Replies (4) Good night (1045) Bad night (486)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes

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  (210): hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes http://tfl.nu/7n4w
  Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (374)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach

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  (304): Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach http://tfl.nu/xbk1
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.

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  (478): You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute. http://tfl.nu/rc1u
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.

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  (253): If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls. http://tfl.nu/vsnx
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (270)

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