So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face