My nipple is on Facebook.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
