Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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