Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night