Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love