Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is

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  (586): So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is http://tfl.nu/xff6
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (1331)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  no

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE

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  (901): pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit (1-901): no (901): the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table (901): im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE http://tfl.nu/q3wo
  Replies (12) Good night (665) Bad night (1517)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.

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  (301): Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto. http://tfl.nu/y1gd
  Replies (30) Good night (3952) Bad night (923)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.

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  (251): i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/2rn9
  Replies (9) Good night (729) Bad night (1994)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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  (541): She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it. http://tfl.nu/jrtc
  Replies (12) Good night (622) Bad night (2863)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox

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  (785): Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox http://tfl.nu/t30w
  Replies (38) Good night (8538) Bad night (1181)
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  (631): View more from New York

  The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.

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  (631): The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack. http://tfl.nu/734p
  Replies (8) Good night (4329) Bad night (1053)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?

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  (303): The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them? http://tfl.nu/7mcl
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (2467)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.

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  (570): I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT. http://tfl.nu/iw7k
  Replies (5) Good night (2393) Bad night (756)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

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  (979): Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything. http://tfl.nu/jcb8
  Replies (4) Good night (2119) Bad night (661)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

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  (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. http://tfl.nu/412l
  Replies (5) Good night (2136) Bad night (787)
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  (258): View more from

  I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state

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  (258): I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state http://tfl.nu/9dxv
  Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.

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  (248): I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice. http://tfl.nu/pazi
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (438)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals

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  (570): An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals http://tfl.nu/zqc1
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.

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  (908): Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today. http://tfl.nu/fwke
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (309)

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