Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it

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(847): View more from Illinois

So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance

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(317): View more from Indiana

sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions

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(423): View more from Tennessee

This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?

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(914): View more from New York

But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.

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(727): View more from Florida

Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love

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