is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
