Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
