I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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