So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
