in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its not stalking. its research.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
