Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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