That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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