why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
