We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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