Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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