Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
