I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
