The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
