Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
