Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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