I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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