nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize