So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
