Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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