im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize