ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm both gender and math confused
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
